Everything is a birth
What's Actually Happening, a 14-year brain dump
I met up with an old friend and her husband last week to chat with them about becoming parents. They’re expecting their first baby and navigating all the layers of the journey that make up most of my brain’s most familiar terrain.
I could talk to new parents all day long. These are my very favorite conversations. They are full of the same sentiments I have been navigating with people for the last 14+ years, and they are the most human. There is softness, and hope, and fear, and all the biggest feelings that bring us to our knees.
We met in their storefront and chatted for over 3 hours around a big table full of snacks and cold bevvies to match the humid 90-degrees outside. I felt a sort of quiet enchantment in the air, with piles of flowers and lush greenery scattered about — little pieces of yesterday and tomorrow, like musical chairs for plants.
There were stacks of boxes and pockets of gorgeous, eclectic furniture configured — leaking glimpses of the future. Neighbors walking by and waving hello, characters popping in and out. The shop was full of fresh dreams and blossoming life, just the same as its keepers.
I couldn’t help but think how much of a silly poem it all was. Everywhere, traces of seedlings. So close to full bloom, enough that the pressure makes you notice it. Tender, like all the best things are.
There is so much bravery required to believe in the worthiness of creating something beyond what is today. And the magic of it is that it forces us to really believe our dreams can be actualized, and that all the discomfort of becoming will be for something richer than whatever was before.
Seeing people be brave in this way is why I love people.
I love that we contain a thing that makes us so wired for creation, we take on chaos in protection of it. We are meant to be drunk with hope, I think. And perhaps that’s connected to my ending up in the work of life and death.
Everything is a birth.
We are all lost in too many ways. There is a screeching to this time. It is loud, and there are horrifying things around every corner. We have to really choose not to let joy go — to play, to love. And the thing that I have never seen disappear, no matter the conditions, is the hope that babies bring.
It is a time of intensity, and it’s just a blink in a life. Many of the couples later grow apart, infants become kids, life continues on after the buzz of those all-consuming early days. It’s not always the happy ending we hope for on the way. Sometimes, it’s even tragic. And even still, there is nothing illusory about this hope.
There is a palpable power to these little blips because of who we become in response. All the special within the cracks. Innocence urges us to evolve. This is why kids are a mirror. If we want them to know it’s worth it, we have to believe it ourselves. They can tell when we don’t.
But it’s not just having a baby, or becoming a parent, that gives you this opportunity to transform. It’s in all the thresholds. When we meet our edges — where we know we are meant to go, and we know it’s going to cost something — and we do it. When we choose to show up for life and allow ourselves to try, we are rewarded with generous evolution. Evolution is not always fun or comfortable or easy, but it does mean you’re alive.
What a gift this has been to hold with people, the rawness of life. The tension of excitement and uncertainty, of love and reality.
It is what raised me, this severity. It became the walls that held me in my own evolving. This work has formed my thinking and choices and identity, and I’m so excited to bring it into a format that has the power to reach more people.
Chatting with my friends reminded me of how much is stirring in my brain, asking to be re-curated. Asking to be offered. This will become my response to the stirring — a 14-year brain dump ☺︎
I’ve enabled paid subscribers for What’s Actually Happening — read more about what’s next.
What to expect:
Dot connecting, breaking down complex ideas, helping you understand what the f is going on around & within your life.
Thresholds — dedicated to naming and normalizing the human experience so you can embrace being wholly alive. It’s about granting yourself permission to be. Where I hold your hand through the thresholds of life because nobody held mine 🫂
Doula Dissent — dedicated hub for sharing insights, frameworks, and guidance from 14 years in healthcare, public health, and birthwork. Where I’ll be sharing custom templates & resources from my private work with clients. Meant to help equip you with the information + resources to make informed decisions, and more confidently navigate healthcare stuff. I’d love to hear what you might like to see!
Resourced — developing resource library that will have reading, podcasts, films, orgs, and all types of tools to support your learning.
Why become a paid subscriber?
Paid subscribers will have access to:
All niche content & deep-dives, eventual guided reflections, prompts, and frameworks to help you integrate what you’re learning.
Full access to growing library of resources, recs, custom guides, and templates from over a decade of birthwork, clinical practice, facilitation, and leadership. Ability to submit questions or request specific resources.
Live AMAs & guest discussions — once we hit 300 paid subscribers!
All paid subscribers also get a discount on my 1:1 work — 50% off Office Hours & Astrology Readings
*Founding — all of that + 1 free Office Hours session ($250 value) — an hour to pick my brain!
Becoming a paid subscriber helps me sustain this work and continue bringing more to fruition. Thank you for supporting early ♡
If there’s something specific you’d like to see first, let me know. And share with a friend!
This was such a poem and balm. "There is so much bravery required to believe in the worthiness of creating something beyond what is today" touched my heart so deeply! I think this would be a beautiful piece to encourage my pregnancy groups to read.